This entry is part 10 of 10 in the series Cooking With Oats

Posted by Mike aka Mightily Oats

Howdy y’all and welcome to what may be the last episode of Cooking with Oats.

This is an open letter to all 3 of my readers (Hi Mom!): There comes a time in every man’s life when one has to take a good hard look at what he does and ask if this is what they are meant to be doing; a time when he needs to ask himself, “Can I do this, or do I look like some sort of gay super hero?”

 

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This entry is part 9 of 10 in the series Cooking With Oats

Posted by Mike aka Mightily Oats

Howdy y’all and welcome to the “Mightily Oats All Hallow’s Eve Spooktacular”.

It’s that time of year again when the leaves have fallen from the trees, the harvest has been gathered, Black Cats and Vampire Bats take on a more sinister air and all of the children have put their little signatures on Satan’s Contract from Below in hopes that trading their immortal souls to the Lord of the Pit will garner them more Snickers bars and fewer of those God-awful peanut butter taffy things that come in orange and black wrappers. (I can’t really blame the kids for doing this, as those things are in the same class of weapons as nerve gas and clearly outlawed by the Geneva Convention.) Read the rest of this entry »

This entry is part 8 of 10 in the series Cooking With Oats

Posted by Mike aka Mightily Oats

 Howdy y’all, and welcome to another episode of Cooking with Oats.

Having children has taught me a few things over the years. One thing I have learned is that I have slowly become a jaded, unfeeling husk of a human; all of my lust for life has been leeched from my being by these tiny, squalling succubae. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children but I know that they are slowly killing me. I’m not sure when I became numb to human suffering, but it had to have happened recently.

I vividly remember the first time that my wife left me alone with my 6 month old daughters.  They were both sound asleep on the couch and I had to pee so bad that my back teeth were floating.  I thought that this was my chance to run to the bathroom and prevent my bladder from rupturing. Read the rest of this entry »

This entry is part 7 of 10 in the series Cooking With Oats

Posted by Mike aka Mightily Oats

O’, how the Mightily have fallen!

Welcome, gentle reader, to the most depressing episode of Cooking with Oats to date. Things have certainly gone pear-shaped for your favorite fictional food-based tycoon.  I am writing this missive from the soggy confines of my brand new, one bedroom cardboard box located conveniently in the alley behind Lou’s Diner in downtown New York City. I have found gainful employment as Lou’s new Pot Boy and he has graciously told me that if he catches me digging through his dumpster one more time he would feed me to his dogs, so it’s not all bad. Read the rest of this entry »

Cooking with Oats 07 – Goop!

September 6, 2012

This entry is part 6 of 10 in the series Cooking With Oats

Posted by Mike aka Mightily Oats

Howdy y’all, and welcome to another episode of Cooking with Oats.

Here is a small excerpt from an interview I gave to Todd Schmidt of GQ magazine recently:

Todd: “Mr. Oats… can I call you Mightily?”

Me: “No.”

Todd: “Okay. Mr. Oats, you have taken the culinary world by storm. You have written 32 books, opened countless restaurants, and even have your own line of designer microwave burritos. There are some that say you have climbed every mountain, that you have conquered every kingdom in the world of food. To what do you attribute your meteoric success?” Read the rest of this entry »

This entry is part 5 of 10 in the series Cooking With Oats

Posted by Mike aka Mightily Oats

Howdy y’all! Welcome to the second season of Cooking with Oats.

With half of a season of writing for Commander Cast firmly under my belt and the screaming adulation of tens of rabid fans I think it is time to take this whole endeavor to “The Next Level”. It’s time to offer the “Oats Experience” to the teeming, unwashed masses yearning to cram meat laden grease of questionable origin into their gaping face holes. It’s time for one more garish eyesore to pop up in the strip mall hell-scape that is Middle America. It is time for yet another cartoon mascot to teach our children that if they whine long enough and loud enough even the most well-meaning parent will buy them shiny new cases of obesity, hypertension, and type 2 diabetes, all of which come with a cool toy. I am opening a chain of fast food restaurants, following in the footsteps of industrial titans like Ray Kroc, Colonel Sanders and Kenny Rogers, so I can turn my new found wealth and fame into much bigger piles of wealth and fame.

Welcome to Uncle Oats’ Old Fashioned Family Feedbag!

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