This entry is part 7 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“Phew, just in time,” Drake sighed as he resolved his Phantasmal Image.

Sully looked down at his Sigarda, Host of Herons and shrugged. He separated her from the Sword of Fire and Ice she had been equipped with and dropped her back into his command zone. It was going to be a few turns before he could recast her.

“See?” Drake asked. “This is what I’m talking about. The new legend rule change that’s coming is goddamn stupid.”

“The new legend rule is fine, kid. Don’t be such a whiner,” Sully smirked at him as he took another drag from his cigar.

“Oh really?” Drake replied, waving his hand back and forth to clear the smoke. “And exactly how else do you propose you deal with Sigarda? How would the great and wise Victor Sullivan handle such a lady?”

“You forgot noble and handsome,” Sully remarked. Then he smirked and emphasized, “Especially handsome.”

“I get it, you love yourself!” Drake laughed. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“Well kid, I can think of a few ways to handle a lady like Sigarda. But I’ll tell you one thing,” Sully said as he picked up his general and pointedly showed Drake the colour symbols in the top right corner of the card. “In these colours, I’m sure as hell not gonna be cloning her.”

"You've got to show some class when your wooing a lady who's got wings. Also a giant sickle, that's pretty good motivation to stay classy."

“You’ve got to show some class when you’re wooing a lady who’s got wings. Also a giant sickle, that’s pretty good motivation to stay classy.”

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This entry is part 8 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_nConcrete shrapnel whistled by my head as a blast of energy narrowly missed me, taking a chunk out of the alley I was running down instead. If I needed any more motivation to keep sprinting through the pain, that certainly provided it. I couldn’t take too many more hits like that.

“Calm down, Eric. Assess the situation. Look for advantages,” I muttered under my breath as I tried to keep up the pace of my sprint. Panic wasn’t going to do me any good, I needed to break things down into manageable bits.

Well, I was bleeding from a gash across my stomach that would have eviscerated me had it been an inch deeper, so that should probably be looked at. I could taste the metallic tang of blood in my mouth, my head was pounding with a dull throb that made focusing nearly impossible, and the softly glowing purple runes wreathed around my left hand reminded me that I wasn’t going to be getting any more power without a bit of pain first. Lyzolda, my right hand girl, was banished from my thoughts by some nasty blue spell and I couldn’t remember how to call her despite my best efforts. Meaning I was entirely on my own.

Oh, and the Vendilion Clique was chasing me down some crappy back alley in Ravnica. Meanwhile, their neck-bearded overseer cackled from… Somewhere way behind me.

Yup, I’m pretty much f#%^ed.

God, do I hate blue.

God, do I hate blue.

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This entry is part 9 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_nI wasn’t a drinker – not anymore, anyway. Too many stupid drunken stunts quickly taught me that alcohol was not a chemical compound that I should be paired with. But right now, I was wondering if there was anything I could find nearby that was stronger than the whiskey stashed in my desk’s bottom drawer.

“What are you thinking?” A coy voice brought me out of my thoughts and back into the reality of my comfortable (if a little cramped) office.

“Hmm?” I looked up from my desk and into the familiar face of Jhoira of the Ghitu. It had been almost a year since we had met under friendly circumstances. Since last July, we had only ever seen each other from opposing sides of a battlefield.

We had spent time on the same battlefield before then too, but that had always been side by side. Summoning eldrazi together, devastating entire armies (and landscapes) with massive shows of force, countering our opponent’s best spells. Just the memories sent a rush of satisfaction coursing through me. I shook it off with a concerted effort. I had spent a lot of time, on a lot of battlefields, with a lot of generals.

But you never forget your first.

“I asked what you were thinking?” Jhoira smiled at me.

“I was wondering if I could make a cocktail out of pure grain alcohol and antifreeze. And how much of that I would have to consume for this situation to become palatable.” I responded with a wry smirk.

What is it about redhead's that always gets me?

What is it about redheads that always gets me?

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This entry is part 10 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“Why can’t you just kill me quickly?” John asked grumpily, staring down the table at his opponent’s Grand Arbiter deck.

“Because I enjoy the game. The longer it goes on, the more I enjoy it,” Sherlock responded simply.

“But I am not particularly enjoying being strung along. It’s sadistic,” John responded, grinding his teeth.

“Really?” Sherlock asked. “I thought it was kinder. It gives you more time to come up with a way to beat me.”

“And how would you suggest I pull that off?” John growled back.

“Come on now,” Sherlock smirked. “If I do everything for you, what’s the point of having an opponent?”

This is the face of douchery.

This is the face of douchery.

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This entry is part 11 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

 

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_nNo foreplay today, guys. No teasing lead-ins, no easter egg-ridden scenarios, no cute little narratives. We all know what day it is, so I’m just going to get it over with.

It’s time to do this thing. It’s time to defend Omniscience.

S#!%.

You f^#%er's in the comments are finally gonna get what you asked for.

You f^#%er’s in the comments are finally gonna get what you asked for.

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This entry is part 12 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“Here you go. That should be it,” I said to Manaforge Cinder as I handed him a cardboard box the size of my torso. I had managed to fit everything from my office into it.

“This is degrading,” the elemental responded with a hard stare. His voice sounded like gravel being crushed together, and the air around him smelled strongly of brimstone.

“Okay, no problem. Just go into the hallway and tell Lyzolda that she has to carry my stuff out, because you’re just too dignified for this kind of thing.” I crossed my arms and gave him an expectant look. 

He just grunted at me and walked out the door, box in tow. Vexing Devil gave him a shrug as he passed, but he didn’t bother to offer to lend a hand.

“You couldn’t put on some clothes to say goodbye to me? Not even a loincloth?” I smirked at Vexing Devil.

He just shook his head at me, but he smiled while he did it. “You’re absolutely sure about this? I still have the Tooth and Nail case up for grabs.”

I laughed, and even paused for a second to consider it. “Nope, I think I’ll leave that for someone else. There’s always gonna be another case, but someone else can handle it. This is the end of the road for me.”

Smug B@$#@^&. Go put on some pants.

It’s been a blast, but all good things must come to an end.

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