This entry is part 2 of 7 in the series Up! Your! Deck!

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“I don’t get it!” whined Bones as he stared at the board in frustration.

“What? How to play the game? I thought you knew the rules,” said Scotty with a wry grin.

“Shut up,” Bones growled before adding, “I know this Grimgrin, Corpse-Born deck is good. I have seen it do well. But every time I try to play it, it falls apart.”

“Well, maybe you just suck at playing control,” Scotty shrugged at him.

“How can you suck at playing control? It’s just removal and counter spells!” Bones said with frustration. 

“Is it?” Scotty asked him, shrugging his shoulders again.

Bones just gave the board another frustrated look before sighing loudly.

Boldly going where no Frankenstein rip off has gone before...

Boldly going where no Frankenstein rip-off has gone before…

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This entry is part 1 of 7 in the series Up! Your! Deck!

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“I’m sick of this!” Yangus whined as he picked up his Tahngarth, Talruum Hero deck and started reshuffling it after his third loss in a row.

“Calm down, it’s just a game. You should try to enjoy yourself,” Angelo responded with a smirk, as he got his Geist of Saint Traft deck ready for another game.

“Don’t tell me to calm down! You smack me around every game!” Yangus looked down at his deck with disappointment. He had loved using a red card with vigilance as his general, but every game it was seeming more and more likely that he would have to take the deck apart. He just couldn’t make it work how he needed it to.

“Chin up, Yangus. Don’t you know that winning isn’t everything?” Angelo asked, still with that arrogant smirk.

“Easy for you to say,” Yangus grumbled under his breath. “You’re the one who’s winning.”

One internet to the nerds who got the reference without the help of this picture

One internet to the nerds who got the reference without the help of this picture

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This entry is part 12 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“Here you go. That should be it,” I said to Manaforge Cinder as I handed him a cardboard box the size of my torso. I had managed to fit everything from my office into it.

“This is degrading,” the elemental responded with a hard stare. His voice sounded like gravel being crushed together, and the air around him smelled strongly of brimstone.

“Okay, no problem. Just go into the hallway and tell Lyzolda that she has to carry my stuff out, because you’re just too dignified for this kind of thing.” I crossed my arms and gave him an expectant look. 

He just grunted at me and walked out the door, box in tow. Vexing Devil gave him a shrug as he passed, but he didn’t bother to offer to lend a hand.

“You couldn’t put on some clothes to say goodbye to me? Not even a loincloth?” I smirked at Vexing Devil.

He just shook his head at me, but he smiled while he did it. “You’re absolutely sure about this? I still have the Tooth and Nail case up for grabs.”

I laughed, and even paused for a second to consider it. “Nope, I think I’ll leave that for someone else. There’s always gonna be another case, but someone else can handle it. This is the end of the road for me.”

Smug B@$#@^&. Go put on some pants.

It’s been a blast, but all good things must come to an end.

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This entry is part 11 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

 

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_nNo foreplay today, guys. No teasing lead-ins, no easter egg-ridden scenarios, no cute little narratives. We all know what day it is, so I’m just going to get it over with.

It’s time to do this thing. It’s time to defend Omniscience.

S#!%.

You f^#%er's in the comments are finally gonna get what you asked for.

You f^#%er’s in the comments are finally gonna get what you asked for.

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This entry is part 10 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_n“Why can’t you just kill me quickly?” John asked grumpily, staring down the table at his opponent’s Grand Arbiter deck.

“Because I enjoy the game. The longer it goes on, the more I enjoy it,” Sherlock responded simply.

“But I am not particularly enjoying being strung along. It’s sadistic,” John responded, grinding his teeth.

“Really?” Sherlock asked. “I thought it was kinder. It gives you more time to come up with a way to beat me.”

“And how would you suggest I pull that off?” John growled back.

“Come on now,” Sherlock smirked. “If I do everything for you, what’s the point of having an opponent?”

This is the face of douchery.

This is the face of douchery.

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This entry is part 9 of 13 in the series (Vexing) Devil's Advocate

378127_10150441621792624_1477312954_nI wasn’t a drinker – not anymore, anyway. Too many stupid drunken stunts quickly taught me that alcohol was not a chemical compound that I should be paired with. But right now, I was wondering if there was anything I could find nearby that was stronger than the whiskey stashed in my desk’s bottom drawer.

“What are you thinking?” A coy voice brought me out of my thoughts and back into the reality of my comfortable (if a little cramped) office.

“Hmm?” I looked up from my desk and into the familiar face of Jhoira of the Ghitu. It had been almost a year since we had met under friendly circumstances. Since last July, we had only ever seen each other from opposing sides of a battlefield.

We had spent time on the same battlefield before then too, but that had always been side by side. Summoning eldrazi together, devastating entire armies (and landscapes) with massive shows of force, countering our opponent’s best spells. Just the memories sent a rush of satisfaction coursing through me. I shook it off with a concerted effort. I had spent a lot of time, on a lot of battlefields, with a lot of generals.

But you never forget your first.

“I asked what you were thinking?” Jhoira smiled at me.

“I was wondering if I could make a cocktail out of pure grain alcohol and antifreeze. And how much of that I would have to consume for this situation to become palatable.” I responded with a wry smirk.

What is it about redhead's that always gets me?

What is it about redheads that always gets me?

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